Another Great PS3 Christmas
All across the world this morning, people are waking up to find a PS3 console under the Christmas tree. Those that have been good in 2007 are getting rewarded with the best of breed next-gen entertainment console from Sony. Who could ask for a better gift? With tons of great AAA exclusives such as Resistance, Ninja Gaiden Sigma and Uncharted and unrivaled media playback capabilities, there is no better gift imaginable than the Playstation 3.
On the other hand, those who have been naughty are arising to find RRoD under the tree. While the rest of their family gathers to sing Christmas carols and drink egg nog, Xbots are stuck trying to fix their broken, buggy, flawed Xbox 360 consoles. In many ways, the Xbrick 3fixme is very similar to a lump of coal: Both are nearly worthless for any purpose other than generating heat.
Today it is important to remember that the spirit of Christmas has nothing to do with materialism and everything to do with Jesus Christ, savior of mankind. What console would Jesus own if he came back to Earth? Would he buy the Wii knowing that it has caused the deaths of multiple people? Would Jesus opt to buy an Xbox 360 from a lying, corrupt Microsoft that seeks to enslave its users? Clearly Jesus would not buy either of these consoles.
Over the past two years, the Playstation 3 has been crucified by the Xbot media. Paid Micro$oft shills have done everything in their power to destroy the PS3 through the power of lies and propaganda. At one point it seemed that Playstation 3 was nearly dead. Yet in the last few months, the PS3 has been resurrected. Sales charts miraculously show the PS3 becoming the top console on the market. Worldwide, there is no hope for Xbox 360. PS3 is the only hope of salvation for poor, duped Xtards who got suckered into buying an Xbox 3satan.
A console this awesome can only be the work of God.
Format War Over: BLU-RAY WINS
Depressed Xflop fanbots are making desperate calls to suicide hot lines all over the world today as the latest sales numbers for Blu-Ray vs. HD DVD have been announced. For the week ending 12/9, Blu-Ray captured 76% market share, leaving a meager 24% for the failed dead format known as HD DVD:
http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/questex/hom121607/index.php
Amazingly, Blu-Ray is now outselling HD DVD more than 3-to-1. These new sales numbers are a crippling bombshell to the hopes and aspirations of misguided Xbox fanbots who blew $200 on a worthless Xtrash HD DVD player. Each and every week Blu-Ray grows stronger while HD DVD slowly bleeds to death.
The so-called “format war” doesn’t seem to be much of a war at all. Just as the forces of freedom steamrolled Saddam Hussein in the Gulf War, Blu-Ray is crushing HD DVD like a tank squashing an empty soda can. Don’t expect paid HD-DVD shills to stop hyping their failed format. Like the Iraqi Information Minister, Xbots will go on spreading lies and propaganda until the very end. The writing is clearly on the wall though, Blu-Ray is the champ.
It’s official: The format war is OVER. Blu-Ray wins. FLAWLESS VICTORY.
NPD Numbers Show Massive PS3 Gains, Xbox Fanbots on Suicide Watch
The three-front console war is going very poorly for Micro$oft and their legion of retarded-yet-loyal Xbroke 3fixme fanbots. Already soundly defeated in Japan and quickly being overrun in Europe, the latest NPD sales numbers show the 360 rapidly losing a foothold in once-solid North America, Xbox’s last and only hope for survival.
The PS3’s North America gains in November were staggering. Sony sold three times more PS3 consoles in November compared with October, an amazing trend that has Xflop fanboys on suicide watch. Indeed, if this trend continues, Xbrick 360 will be relegated to the ash heap of console history, along with similar failures such as Sega Saturn and Dreamcast.
How bad are things getting for Micro$oft? The battles in Europe and Japan are over, PS3 has won and Micro$oft has no hope of a comeback. In North America, Playstation 2 and Playstation 3 sold 962,000 units in November compared to just 770,000 units sold for Xbox and Xbox 360. Clearly the Xbox 360 is losing the console war at a rapid pace.
Compare Xbox 360’s current market position to Hitler’s position toward the end of WWII. Like Hitler, Xbox fanboys have been overrun on the eastern front (Japan) and Africa (Europe). All that remained between Hitler (Bill Gates) and certain defeat was the western front (North America). After one final offensive at the Battle of the Bulge (Halo 3 launch), the Nazis (Micro$oft) had no resources left and were quickly overrun by the forces of freedom (PS3).
Xbox fanboys now find themselves in a precarious position. Do they abandon their defeated Xbox 360 and buy a real console, or do they fight a losing battle to the bitter end? Either way, the writing is on the wall: PS3 has defeated Xbox 360.
Microsoft Bans Thousands of Paying Xbots
Earlier today I felt a great disturbance in the Internets, as if millions of Xbots cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. Bill Gates decided that Xbox owners weren’t getting screwed over enough by the Red Ring of Death, so it was time to ban a bunch of consoles permanently from Xbox Live. Microsoft not only banned users playing backups, they also terminated the accounts of those who mis-configured their home network routers. What next? Will Microsoft will be banning users who don’t spend enough cash on worthless dated Xbox Live games?
Is there any alternative to being a Micro$oft fan bitch and bending over for bans every time Bill Gates has a bad hair day? There is a great alternative, it’s called Playstation 3. Unlike Xbox 360, the Playstation 3 has 100% free online. No more paying monthly, no more buying timecards from the store… it’s 100% free. In addition, all PS3s on the market have built-in WiFi, Blu-Ray players and HDMI. Sony has NEVER banned users from the Playstation Network and never will. Unlike Microsoft, Sony is a company with class and integrity.
Or Xbots can flush even more money down the toilet and just buy a new unbanned Xbox 360. Repeat after me: “Please Bill Gates, may I have another”. Battered Xbot Syndrome at its finest.
Mass Effect: Complete and Utter GARBAGE
Take a good FPS game such as Resistance or Crysis. Now remove 95% of
the FPS gameplay and replace it with scripted talking to a bunch of
alien queers. Dumb down the remaining 5% of the gameplay so that even
my pet iguana could make it through the game without getting fragged.
Make the AI so retarded that it’s on par with the original Doom.
Finally add a weapon upgrade system that is so complex you have to
read a manual just to figure out how to use the items you pick up. The
end result is the steaming pile of crap known as Ass Effect.
I’m sorry Xbots but this game is a pile of crap. I have NEVER in my
life played a shooter and said “gee, this game would be much improved
if they cut out most of the shooting, added a billion more cut scenes and
dumbed the game down so it takes no skill”. And don’t tell me “Mass
Effect is an RPG” you braindead Xtards, that’s NO EXCUSE. So the game
is an RPG, does that mean it’s allowed to suck ass and be a boring
pile of crap?
Compare this game to UT3 which is out today or Crysis… no
comparison. Mass Effect is a manure. The only use for Ass Effect that
I can see is if you’re having problems sleeping. Fire up Ass Effect,
watch 20 minutes of cut scenes before you’re allowed to even pwn a
single enemy and you’ll be counting sheep in no time.
I just downgraded my rating. This POS game is 4/10 AT BEST. It’s very
hard for me to even play this POS game because Crysis owns it so hard.
But Crysis actually requires skill to play so it’s not suitable for
you epsilon semi-moron Xmongos.
MASS EFFECT OFFICIAL RATING: 4 / 10 (POOR)
HALO 3 RENAMED J-LO 3: “IT’S ASS”
Yet another crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered Xbox 360 community this week as Halo 3 was leaked by internet pirates a whole week before the official release. Microsoft’s botching of the Halo 3 release came as no shock to the gaming community at large. At this point, screwup is pretty much expected from a company that can’t even make a steering wheel that doesn’t overheat.
More shocking have been the early reviews of Halo 3. According to those who have downloaded the game and played it, Halo 3 is a steaming pile of poo. The graphics in Halo 3 are apparently far from next-gen and are indistinguishable from previous-gen Halo 2. I guess that’s what happens when you use a previous-gen DVD9 storage mechanism in your “next-gen” console.
Fortunately for Xbots, Microsoft has circled the wagons and plans to spend approximately $7 billion promoting the abortion of a game known as Halo 3. You don’t really need to produce a great game to create sales when you control a massive propaganda machine devoted to hyping your console. Xbots are so dense they would pay hundreds for a Halo-branded toilet seat.
Vomit-colored “Master Chief Edition” Xbox 360 for the win.
HEAVENLY SWORD: GREATEST GAME OF OUR GENERATION
Having just finished Heavenly Sword for Playstation 3, I am barely able to type this review. I am stunned and in shock of how great a game Heavenly Sword truely is. Am I qualified to write a review of the masterpiece known as Heavenly Sword? How can a mortal be qualified to write a review of God?
INNOVATION: Heavenly Sword is one of the most innovative games EVER RELEASED. It uses the motion-control feature of the Sixaxis controller like no other PS3 game. During certain missions in the game, you engage in ranged combat with arrows or cannons. Using the Sixaxis controller, you can guide your projectiles to their targets. Just to give you an idea about how awesome and addictive the arrow shooting missions are, these missions could easily be separated into a second game and that game alone would be worth buying. In addition, Heavenly Sword has hand-to-hand stances that have never been seen in any other video game, including speed stance, heavy stance and aerial stance.
GRAPHICS: Heavenly Sword’s visuals are among the best ever created on any console. Though Heavenly Sword is rendered in 720P, the game looks so nice that you’d swear you were looking at 1080P graphics or better. There’s so much eye candy in this game that it’s just unbelievable. Going from previous-gen Nintendo Wii 480p graphics to Heavenly Sword is almost like going from black and white television to HDTV. The difference is that dramatic.
STORY: If Sony wanted they could take the script to Heavenly Sword and directly create a movie without even changing a word. The movie would probably win an Oscar for best adapted screenplay without making even ONE EDIT. Unlike Xbox 360 games which generally have lame loser idiot plot lines (oh noes, aliens attack again, call Master Chief!) and Nintendo Wii games which don’t even have plot lines (Mario 18: invasion of the turtles?) Heavenly Sword actually has a quality storyline. Heavenly Sword’s awesome story is like a gust of fresh air.
CUT SCENES: WOW. JUST WOW. The quality of the animation in Heavenly Sword’s cut scenes rivals and exceeds the latest movies from Pixar. Amazingly, these picture-perfect cut scenes aren’t truly cut scenes at all - many are INTERACTIVE. During cut scenes, you can press certain buttons on the controller to influence the outcome of the scene!
There is no doubt that Heavenly Sword is the greatest game of our generation. Heavenly Sword is not just an AAA exclusive, it’s an AAA+++ EXCLUSIVE. This game will no doubt sell MILLIONS of Playstation 3 consoles and vault Sony to yet another win in the console wars.
Funny how reviews from the Xbox propaganda machine fail to recognize Heavenly Sword’s greatness. Could there be some bias involved? “Wahhhhhhh!!” whined the paid Microsoft shill reviewer, “Heavenly Sword is only eight hours long”. So Mr. Xbot… how long was your “GAYme of the Year” Biosuck again? Oh yeah, just a tad longer than eight hours. Do you hate all movies that are less than eight hours too?
Heavenly Sword is an awesome, amazing, fantastic, addictive, STUNNING and BRILLIANT work of art that has never been equaled in the history of gaming. Yet Xflop fanbitches keep going on like broken records repeating their talking points about how short Heavenly Sword is. Here’s a hypothetical for you Xtards: Imagine the hottest babe in the world… perfect face, perfect body, perfect EVERYTHING. Now imagine an overweight 300 pound ugly chick. You now have a choice, would you rather spend EIGHT HOURS IN BED WITH THE HOTTEST BABE IN THE WORLD or spend 20 HOURS IN BED WITH THE FATSO?
Most Xbots would apparantly choose 20 hours with big momma. Or more accurately, they’d choose whichever girl Microsoft paid them to choose. It doesn’t matter, not even an army of PAID SHILLS can detract from Heavenly Sword’s aura. HEAVENLY SWORD IS TRUELY A WORK OF LEGEND.
HEAVENLY SWORD OFFICIAL RATING: AAA+++
10 MYTHS ABOUT NINTENDO WII
According to Wiitards and anti-Sony biased gaming publications, Nintendo Wii is the greatest console ever. However if you dig deeper you will find that the Nintendo Wii is all hype and no substance. Wii is far from a great console. In fact, it is one of the worst consoles ever released in the history of gaming. I will now dispell 10 MYTHS ABOUT NINTENDO WII, so Wiitards please cover your eyes, plug your ears and hide in the corner.
#1 MYTH: Nintendo Wii is a Next-Gen Gaming Console
FACT: Nintendo Wii is a PREVIOUS-GEN Gaming Console
How can a next-gen gaming console have PREVIOUS-GEN 480p standard definition graphics? How can a next-gen gaming console have PREVIOUS-GEN DVD9 storage? Ever since the dawn of gaming, new consoles have improved on previous ones. Yet Wii is esentially a Gamecube with a new controller. There is NOTHING next-gen about Nintendo Wii. REAL next-gen consoles do 720p high definition or even 1080p. Yet Wii is still stuck at stone age previous-gen 480p standard definition. Therefore Wii is a PREVIOUS GEN console.
#2 MYTH: Nintendo Wii is a Better Value than PS3
FACT: PS3 is a BETTER VALUE Than Nintendo Wii
Nintendo Wii is cheaper than PS3 and it better be. NOBODY would pay more than $250 for a previous-gen gaming console that only does 480p. PS3 is more expensive than Wii and you get what you pay for. Cell processor, Blu-Ray, free online, awesome 1080p graphics, upscaling DVD player, and MORE. Nintendo Wii is cheaper than PS3… but then Atari 2600 is cheaper than PS3 too. Neither are better than PS3. Playstation 3 is a BETTER VALUE than Nintendo Wii.
#3 MTYH: Nintendo Wii is Great For Kids
FACT: Nintendo Wii Subjects Kids to Hidden GAY PROPAGANDA
Why Nintendo? Why hide a secret “UR MR GAY” message on the box of your latest Super Mario game? This latest move by Nintendo is just sickening. Many kids will be buying Super Mario Galaxy expecting to get a great game… instead they will be told that they are GAY. There’s no defending Nintendo on this one. They intentionally put this message on the box of their game, it’s NO COINCIDENCE. Does this sound like a great console for kids?
#4 MYTH: Nintendo Wii is Great For Teens and Adults
FACT: Almost 100% of Nintendo Wii Games are Kiddie Games
There is exactly one game for Nintendo Wii that is not a dumbed-down title for kids. Other than Resident Evil, every other Wii game features kiddie-style graphics, newbie gameplay and will not satisfy teens or adults seeking a quality gaming experience. Nintendo has a history of alienating older gamers and the Wii is no exception. How many Mario games does Nintendo expect us to buy? How many times can we play the same cartoony Zelda game over and over? The root of Nintendo’s problem here is that they have almost ZERO third-party support. All of Wii’s decent games are Nintendo franchises, and all of Nintendo’s franchises are kiddie games.
#5 MYTH: Nintendo Wii is Great For Non-Gamers
FACT: Non-Gamers are Bored By Wii’s Pedestrian Previous-Gen Graphics
Non-gamers tend to be impressed by graphics more than gameplay, yet Wii only has previous-gen non-HD 480p graphics. So why do Wiitards repeat over and over and over again that Wii is loved by the non-gaming crowd? There is no way a non-gamer would standard definition graphics over high definition graphics. As a test, I asked three non-gamers to play Super Rub a Dub on PS3 in high definition 720p. They loved the game. Then I switched them over to Wii Sports running at standard definition 480p. They all commented that Wii Sports looked AWFUL in comparison, and indeed it does look awful. Ever compare standard definition TV to high definition TV? It’s the same as comparing previous-gen Wii to next-gen PS3.
#6 MYTH: Nintendo Wii Costs Just $249.99
FACT: Wii Costs a WHOLE LOT MORE… Maybe Even THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS MORE
The price tag on Wii is very deceptive. Wii is a console that is geared toward non-online multiplayer, yet for $249.99 you get just one controller. Buying three additional controllers will cost you about $120 more. Add the cost of a game, the cost of the charging station, and 2-4 additional nunchuck controllers and the total price is more than PS3. To make matters worse, Wii may end up costing you thousands of dollars. Wiimotes have a defect that cause them on occasion to break televisions. The site www.wiihaveaproblem.com has documented this huge flaw in the Wii. Nintendo has even been sued over Wii breaking TVs. Spend $249.99 now, break your $2500 television later. Sure sounds like a great deal to me!!
#7 MYTH: Nintendo Wii Has Great Games
FACT: Nintendo Wii Only has a Handful of Playable Games
Most games for Nintendo Wii are complete crap. There are maybe two or three decent games for the system and that’s all. Zelda, Resident Evil and maybe Paper Mario are the only playable titles for Wii. Wii Sports is nothing more than a gimmick tech demo so I’m not including it. Wiitards frequently criticize the PS3 for its lack of games, yet the PS3 has far more great games than the Wii. Heavenly Sword, Motorstorm, Resistance, Lair, Hot Shots Golf (out in Japan), MLB 2007 The Show… all these PS3 games are far better than anything the Wii has to offer.
#8 MYTH: Wiimote is a New and Innovative Controller
FACT: There is NOTHING Innovative About Wiimote
Sony created the most innovative controller ever with the Sixaxis for PS3. Nintendo did nothing more than copy Sony’s Sixaxis motion controls for Wii and they copied it very poorly. The Wiimote’s deficiencies really show in games like Madden where the game is nearly unplayable using the Wiimote. Meanwhile Sony has released games like Heavenly Sword which use the Sixaxis to create an awesome gaming experience. There is nothing fun or innovative about the Wiimote.
#9 MYTH: Wii is a Good Console for Playing Online
FACT: Wii Online is a JOKE and FAR WORSE than PS3 Online
Wii online is such a joke that even Wii fanboys are calling it a piece of crap. Wii online is light years behind PS3 online and Xbox Home. The fact that Wii has the worst online among newer consoles is no surprise. When you buy a previous-gen console you shouldn’t be shocked when you get a previous-gen online experience.
#10 MYTH: Wii is Going to Win the Console Wars
FACT: Wii will Shortly be a DEAD CONSOLE
Wii may have good sales now, but the system is doomed to failure. The fact is Wii is an underpowered, previous-gen system that cannot compete with PS3 and Xbox 360. Nintendo has a few solid franchises that they can port over to Wii, but Wii has virtually no third-party support. That means Nintendo is doomed to be a distant THIRD once again in this round of the console wars. Those who buy a Wii are almost cerainly making a wasted investment on a console that will not last.
CONCLUSION: Wii is a FLAWED CONSOLE
Due to stupid design decisions made by Nintendo, Wii will not last long. Buy a Nintendo Wii at your own risk because you are most likely flushing your money away on the next Atari Jaguar.